Moments that matter most

By Kate Knight
Assistant Head of School, Student Life

My favourite moments with students are always the unexpected ones.

I was sitting in the dining hall this week at breakfast and a senior student came and sat down next to me. A visitor is not in and of itself rare; often, students stop by the check-in table in the morning to clarify the schedule for the day or ask about an upcoming event. What was unique about this visit, however, was the question the student posed.

‍“Ms. Knight, how do you know when you have made a good decision?”

That’s a big question at any time of day, but particularly at 7:45 in the morning. The look on the student’s face was earnest; it was clear she was in the middle of making a big decision or had recently made one. Either way it seemed she was searching for some way to see the future, to know if her choice was the right one and if everything was going to work out the way she hoped.

I accepted a long time ago that I do not have a crystal ball. I am no better at knowing the future than I am confident most of the clairvoyants at the psychic fair I attended in Parry Sound last weekend are of reading my palm or communicating with those from the beyond. Instead, I rely on experience, hard work, and intuition to guide me when a fork on the road presents itself. I talk to people who know - or who have lived through - more than I about whatever a decision revolves around. I do my homework. I ask a lot of questions. And, ultimately, I trust my gut. On more than one occasion, that voice inside my head or that feeling somewhere deep inside has served as my best guide when it came time to make a decision, especially when there is no bad option - only many opportunities. It takes time to have the confidence to trust your own instincts; that faith in yourself is only built after not listening and making a few wrong decisions on the journey to figuring out what the right people, pathway, or place is for you.

I tried to communicate the above to the young adult sitting in front of me, her eyes wide and her faced filled with a worried expression, in a way that would make sense and give her something to walk away and reflect upon. I summed up my limited worldly wisdom as follows:

‍“The best advice I can give you is to take your time. Ask yourself and others honest questions, give the chance to sit quietly with your thoughts and feelings about the information at hand, and be open to considering things you might previously have thought weren’t ‘you’. Be prepared to surprise yourself. You will never know the path not taken; once you make a decision, it’s your job to make that decision a good one. Embrace the opportunity in front of you and make it work for you”.

The student seemed satisfied, at least temporarily, with my response and thanked me for it before heading out to start her day. I was unsure whether she was trying to decide which college or university offer to accept, whether to attend school next year at all, or if she was having second thoughts about the colour she’d dyed her hair or the $300 she’d spent on a concert ticket. At 17, all of those choices seem to hold equal significance in the moment. One thing I felt certain of was that I had been in the right place at the right time to experience an unexpected and meaningful moment. While the student may have been the person on the receiving end of the advice, I was the one left thinking about our conversation well after breakfast was over; a truly remarkable way to start the day.

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